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Secrets (2021)

by lazy magnet

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1.
you say you want to die well, you're gonna die all your sorrow inevitably doomed to be all but swallowed it is not marvelously comic (karmic?) in my leather jeans I turn the lights down and pose in the blue lit gloom are you alone like me? you're glowing on the screen I reach for you (over and over and over) I want to stray from your sight I want to lose my way How long must I wait at the center of this all time low? Bow your living skull in electric ice cold crystal fog you won't disappear inside a dull, grey year on this endless distance without dawn horizonless, without witness deliver me with spectral grace rephasing back to coherent states but you were never here anyway
2.
sometimes a true hatred of life removes fate from fortune faced with this I'm drinking alone again watching you on the screen, I swear, I can smell your skin and hair but you aren't really there and it's abundantly clear this emptiness leaves me with no secrets to share easy desires they renew as tho the sun never bothered to set and yet (round and round) it costs me each new day bloodless circulation without flesh no true hatred of life cultivated I've been waiting for the end since I began It's not so hard to find a song in all this sin use your imagination what you would never dare say to another living soul open up that mouth of yours fill your lungs and scream a little every night you're the saddest thing I've ever seen when you say that you're in love with me I hear bells toll outside locked windows and coins hit the wooden floor inside a room we don't share I force my self down on the bed and lie awake till night falls and listen for voices that rise and call sublime, head in a hole, blindfolded, let them talk I don't care what about images fleeting once they're felt, the space between harbors nothing at all, it is no place at all, there is nothing at all I don't know if I could put it, I don't know how I would do it, I don't know if I should put it more plainly
3.
the good things in life could be ours to hold if we close our eyes and wish it so so still and so alone the mind reflects intensely this empty room hanging round, days without end, moaning in displeasure draw me nearer to you little grey star a fire so far away a most remote romance, a heat I yet believe will arrive in time in silent black beyond black our fingers run along the bounds of spheres unseen define me, thrust me forward, reflect me more sophisticated than a mere animal lust
4.
howl and devour this closed fist to your lips this fistful would go down hard allow me inside, I couldn't hurt you even if I tried thinking how you went away, now you're gone and gone you'll stay and I'll never get to say anything to you again you won't draw a map on the palm of my hand outside the club on a warm, wet autumn night just like the last time we crossed paths please, please don't leave I close my eyes and start to cry, cry and I'm surprised cuz I never ever behave this way look what you did you fixed a thing you made what's broken work again now let it work and fall like rain I still can't say what I hid from you out loud the thoughts I needed no protection from inside you will never look into my eyes not in this or any other life lower the lights at the end of your rope you're alarmed when you find that you feel nothing at all (the clouds roll in and I resist the wind)
5.
when I see you will I only see how you see through why we ever lingered on each other's gaze filled each others days found 1000 ways to say I need you, please stay I think I saw you last night on a drive through town you were walking with your lover through a shadow my eyes they never strayed from the road, spinning round and round hand on the wheel, body and soul I can feel what I want to feel I can and will do as I wish I want nothing less than for every promise to be kept I have never believed that a person like me could actually be loved in life you take what comes there's nothing different I would do did I give back half what I learned from you and when I enter the room and when I walk through the room and all my secrets from you lead to my living thus and my muted day to day deletes every other way outside of suicide by alcohol I can feel what I want to feel I can and will do as I wish I want nothing less than for every promise to be kept thinking of a way to finally say "it's time" and then you look away
6.
when the sun goes down, well, I can't bring myself to give a fuck anymore in the dark with my glass of beer my non-dominant hand reaches for (remote control) god help me never let me live another summer that way ancient spirit of evil can you see that towel from outside my window? ragged spiritual consent, forever asked never now they are so.. they seem so juxtaposed (so much so I can't tolerate it) the sound coming down is enough to part the clouds my private miracle, something wonderful I've always wanted what if when it comes we both decide to chance it (I feel so much I can't tolerate it)
7.
In a dark room with no natural light my music plays too loud let time stand still like a secret held or a long drawn out sequence of cells as true to life as the will to live outside circumstance I combat with sex this will be the greatest summer yet you create your own way, use it you are a tower of stone adorned with lovingly thrown mosaic and portraiture as true to life as the will to love as true to life as the will to live and go on living (spoken word part) you can live the life you dream in the emptiness between negotiations between the dots that disappear you know me, you know my voice press play invite me forth you invited me in I'm inside of you (outro)
8.
Valentine 03:00
(lyrics by Chrissy Jones) I will never speak your name Never hear your name A moment passes and I
I feel you come alive

An open mouth begs
To be filled with milk
You whisper to me
“This is how dreams are made”

Formless Among the dust
You and I are
Beautiful
 
From tip to end
Your fire inside of me
An arrow so deep
Your secret
Must go on...
Intooooo the night 
I will never tell a soul
I willl never tell Your secret’s heavy In a silent mouth
 Breathless
Unfolding
You and I are
Beautiful

From tip to end
Your fire inside of me
An arrow so deep
Your secret
Must go on
Must go on
Into the night

about

"Secrets" writt
en, performe
d, recorded a
nd mixed in
Providen
ce, Rhod
e Islan
d by Je
remy
Har
ri
s

January 2020 - July 2021
Mastered by Caleb Mulkerin at Tank 28

credits

released September 1, 2021

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

lazy magnet Providence, Rhode Island

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Lazy Magnet


These collected music works were lovingly catalogued strictly for the sake of fun and enjoyment.



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